So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
