I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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