Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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