my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
