hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
