god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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