Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
