in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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