i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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