we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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