I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
