I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
