sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
