It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
