One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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