Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Alive.
So much puke
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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