"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
