I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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