Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
