You really coming over, don't trick.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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