Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
