Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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