you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
