I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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