how can u be prego again
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize