The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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