Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
