He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
