it was like eating out sand paper
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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