Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
