i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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