That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
