so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
where am i from again
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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