I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
