I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
