you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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