I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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