Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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