I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
