i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
