I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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