It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
