I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
