just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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