is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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