I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
