wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
