She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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