I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
