you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize