He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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