FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
