Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
