google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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