R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
