I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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