Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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