I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this boner is exhausting
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
