I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
