I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
