I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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