I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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