I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.