she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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