sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ugly people sure do ruin things
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.