It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
