I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
