so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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