He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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