I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
try to milk me bitch
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